On Exams, Anxiety And Precious Friendships...

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Hello lovely readers out there! Today's post is a little different to what you usually find on this blog - no review, recipe or photo diary - just a little chatty post.

I'm currently in the midst of revising as exams will start at the end of this month and continue all throughout July. There's so much to do I don't even know where to start, I feel quite overwhelmed with the amount of studying, the amount of books I have to read and essays I have to write and presentations I have to hold, sometimes for as little as TWO CREDIT POINTS. While I don't really mind writing essays all that much and even though I could do without them, a little presentation doesn't bother me all that much either, what really gets to me are exams! Especially now that it's over 30°C outside and so unbearably hot in my room that studying for exams is even more of a torture than it is on a rainy winter's day. I always get very panicky about exams and never could handle them all too well but this semester has taken me to another level of anxiety! I find it hard to sleep because my mind keeps circling around all the bad things that could happen, making up scenarios in which I fail various or all of my exams (which even I have to admit is unlikely because it NEVER happened). I imagine a gloomy future because:

"If I fail this semester and retake the exam next semester I will probably fail again and then after that, at my third attempt (which is as many as you get) I might just fail again which will then leave me without a degree, utterly failed and completely unemployable, and then.."

Well I don't think I need to go on here, you'll get the picture. Now rationally thinking I know that all of this is rubbish, that even if I do fail one of my exams it's not the end of the world but rational thought never seems to come to me in exam season (especially not lying awake at night). I don't know if any of you guys feel the same way about exams but if you do or did please let me know what you do to calm yourselves down and get a good night's sleep.

It doesn't help that I more and more think of exams as the most inaccurate test of someone's knowledge. I feel like they don't actually reflect your knowledge all that much. I put a lot of effort into revising, writing summaries, reading books on the various topics and yet the actual result of the test depends on so much more than that! There are people who are better at learning things by heart than others so if the exam is focused on a lot of theoretical knowledge it might be easier for some than for others - and I fear most of the exams are testing your theoretical knowledge rather than the actual understanding you gained (well sorry if I don't remember rank 14 of that "Top selling internet items" survey on chart number 9, but if you were interested I could tell you what conclusion I drew from it?!?). Also there is no way any Non-Superhuman could possibly revise each and everything mentioned in every lecture of every module during the whole semester! When you study you will look at your notes, try to figure out what's important and what isn't and put the focus on that. Now that doesn't necessarily mean that your professor puts the exam's focus on the same topics as you did, so: Russian Roulette eh?

And last but by no means least: so much just depends on the actual day of the exam! You might not be in top form, maybe you're in a bad mood or something that day (it doesn't even have to be the exam itself) doesn't go your way and discourages you, it might massively affect the results of your exam. So yeah, all in all: why can't we have more efficient forms of testing people's knowledge? Do any of you feel the same way about it?

Now I also want to mention that the only reason I'm not going completely insane and out-of-my-mind-crazy is my family and closest friends! It's so important to have people in your life who support you no matter what, who are understanding and who care about you. My best friends don't actually live that close by, so we can't see each other that often but I know they're always there if I need them, we are always on the phone to each other and knowing that I have them in my life makes everything so much better and exam period just about bearable. You know who you are! :)

So this was a rather long one. I will stop rambling now and get back to my beloved notes. To all of you out there revising for exams I hope you don't feel quite that discouraged about it all. All the luck for your exams! Maybe we should just remember:

"This too shall pass"

Jess

2 Kommentare

Unknown15 June 2014 at 11:41
your exams are so late! I finished mine 3 weeks ago, hope they go ok, I'm sure you'll be fine!

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